Selling opera, or, how to put butts in seats, any old butts

I happened upon Los Angeles Opera’s re-designed website the other day and immediately noticed a bold, new marketing initiative designed, no doubt, to bring in the novice listener, the kind that is frightened of opera, or otherwise unsure of the art form. “Lose Yourself In Opera” the site encourages, and then offers some helpful hints on how you might go about doing that.

For instance, you might buy a ticket to something called Eugene Onegin. “What that?” you say. “From the composer of Swan Lake!” LA Opera answers. (Gosh, is Natalie Portman in it? She’s hot.)

Or how does Romeo et Juliette strike your fancy? Too French? Unsure? It’s “The World’s Most Famous Love Story,” LA Opera explains and then as it dawns on you that it’s that Romeo and Juliet you click on the icon and buy a ticket. Simple.

Getting into the spirit, I offer the following, free of charge, to the marketers at LA Opera.

Wozzeck — Pronounced Vots-eck, more or less!

Die Walküre — From the composer of “What’s Opera, Doc?” only longer!

Götterdämmerung — The fat lady sings at the end!

Tristan und Isolde — The fat lady sings at the end!

The Turn of the Screw — Sounds like porn, and it kind of is!

Die Soldaten — From the composer of Photoptosis!

Rigoletto — We have a hunch you’ll like this one!

La Boheme — Based on Rent!

The Marriage of Figaro — Features a chick dressed as a man!

Giulio Cesare — A bunch of dudes singing like chicks!

Cosi fan tutte — Can you say Swingers?!

Porgy and Bess — From the composer of the United Airlines commercial!

Carmen — Smokes cigarettes and kills men, but you can dance to it!

La Traviata — Consumption never sounded so good!

Salome — Like David Lynch on steroids!

The Breasts of Tiresias — An entire opera about boobs!

Yuja Wang’s little red dress redux and the Los Angeles Times

I opened up the Los Angeles Times this morning (I still subscribe to the print version) and found, in the front page index box, a little photo of Yuja Wang in that little red dress, a promo for a story in Calendar, the newspaper’s arts and entertainment section. ‘Her again?’ I thought in my semi-conscious, pre-caffeinated state.

Splashed above the fold in Calendar was yet another photo of Wang, in full color and skimpy regalia, strutting her considerable stuff upon the Hollywood Bowl stage. Below were not one, but two, full-length stories, one by Times’ music critic Mark Swed, both jumping to a considerable spread inside, and discussing and parsing and analyzing said dress into its constituent parts and meanings. At least I think that’s what they were about — I didn’t read either one.

Personally, I don’t find the story interesting. Am I a snob? Possibly. But it’s more that I find the Yuja Wang scandal, if that’s what it is, terribly predictable. I already know what everyone will say, blah, blah, blah and yadda, yadda, yadda, and so, dear reader, do you. And at this point, as the story has spread throughout the internet, everything that can possibly be said about Yuja Wang’s dress has been said.

But I don’t blame the Times, or not much. I know what happened. They got a ton of hits on Mark’s review of Yuja Wang’s dress and they saw the folks all over the internet discussing Mark’s review of Yuja Wang’s dress and they thought — since they’re a business and all — that maybe they ought to follow up on Yuja Wang’s dress.

Yuja Wang gets a lot of hits at Classical Life, too. A few days ago, I posted Yuja Wang’s little red dress, and it has been topping my hit parade ever since, even though I had virtually nothing to say about Wang and her dress. The headline was enough to attract readers. I can see on my blog dashboard that readers are searching for stories about Yuja Wang’s dress. Among the search terms used this morning that brought readers to this blog (according to the dashboard), 15 of them involved Yuja Wang, some of them used multiple times. Included among them: “Yuja Wang is hot” and “little red dress.”

The same phenomenon is behind much that is covered in the media today. Online, they know what you’re reading, and they know what you’re not reading, and so, naturally (but stupidly in my opinion, but we won’t get into that now), the media gives readers (and viewers) what they want. I got upwards of 13,000 hits on a story I wrote for my newspaper recently, and something like 120 comments, which is considerably more than I ever got for a story on classical music.

Was it brilliant? Certainly not. Was it interesting? Not really. But it was about Rebecca Black. And as long as readers keep clicking on stories about Rebecca Black and Yuja Wang, newspapers are going to keep writing same.

Pretre conducts ‘Die Libelle’ by Johann Strauss, Jr.

Georges Pretre conducts the Vienna Philharmonic in the 2008 New Year’s Concert. The first piece is the lovely Die Libelle (The Dragonfly) by Johann Strauss, Jr. I first heard it in an even more enchanting performance led by Carlos Kleiber, which unfortunately they won’t let me share with you here. (Click on the link.)

I’d love to hear this played as an encore sometime, perhaps after a stormy symphony by Tchaikovsky or Mahler.

The second work on the video is Die Pariserin, also by Johann, Jr., a “polka francaise” here performed as a little ballet for horses.

Yuja Wang’s little red dress

The little red dress that pianist Yuja Wang wore recently for a concert at the Hollywood Bowl is the hot topic of discussion these days on the classical internets. Start with Iron Tongue of Midnight, where Lisa links you up with other online discussions about said dress and adds some astute commentary herself. (I only disagree with her on the topic of music critics mentioning fashion — I think we should.) …

CK Dexter Haven, friend of Classical Life, has started his own blog, All is Yar. Among other yummy things, he gets a lot of inside dope on the musicians of the L.A. Phil. I’ve added his site to the blogroll. …

Johnny Carson plays the theremin, courtesy of Alex Ross. … It used to be that the talk shows and variety shows featured classical musicians, giving them valuable exposure to the masses. Itzhak Perlman ended up on Hollywood Squares, thanks to his appearances on Carson. …

In 1956, the great Hollywood film composer Dimitri Tiomkin stumps ’em on What’s My Line. …

Meanwhile, I’ve been engaged in much more important controversies, including, but by no means limited to, the sex life of Muppets.

Soka University in Orange County to open concert hall with acoustics by Yasuhisa Toyota

Soka University in Aliso Viejo will inaugurate the new Soka University Performing Arts Center this fall with a black-tie concert and reception on Sept. 17 featuring Carl St.Clair and the Pacific Symphony, with pianist Horacio Gutiérrez as soloist.

The handsome Soka Performing Arts Center, designed by Zimmer Gunsul Frasca Architects in Los Angeles, looks especially promising; it features a 1000-seat multi-purpose concert hall with acoustics credited to Yasuhisa Toyota, the same genius behind the sound of Walt Disney Concert Hall. An adjacent building, the Nelson Mandela Hall, has a 180-seat black box theater as part of its accoutrements. Together, they cost $73 million.

After the opening, Soka will offer, among many other events, an ambitious season of classical fare, which includes two more visits by the Pacific Symphony, the St. Petersburg Symphony (from Russia), the New Zealand String Quartet, the Tokyo String Quartet and a solo recital by pianist Emanuel Ax.

For more information go to http://www.soka.edu. For tickets call 949-480-4ART or visit tickets@soka.edu.

Gustavo Dudamel to appear on ‘Sesame Street’

Los Angeles Philharmonic music director Gustavo Dudamel will make an appearance on “Sesame Street” on an undisclosed (but soon to be announced) date in the near future, according to a press release from the orchestra.

No other details about said appearance are available at this time, but the Philharmonic did provide the photo above.

I’ll definitely watch. I heart Elmo. And Penguins. And the Dude, too.

photo: courtesy of Los Angeles Philharmonic

Philharmonic Society of Orange County posts surplus

The Philharmonic Society of Orange County, the area’s venerable and most ambitious presenter of classical music, reported an (unaudited) surplus of $115,675 for the season (fiscal year ending June 30).

Total revenues (including tickets sales and donations) were $4,238,033 and total expenses were $4,122,358.

Though belts have tightened at the non-profit in recent years, they’re managing.

Maybe more than managing. The Philharmonic Society’s upcoming season will feature performances by the Chicago Symphony, the Cleveland Orchestra, the New York Philharmonic, the Baltimore Symphony, the Los Angeles Philharmonic and the Mariinsky Theatre Orchestra, among others.

Long Beach Opera 2012 season

Operas by Piazzolla, Poulenc, Martinu, Golijov and Nyman will be performed as part of the 2012 season of Long Beach Opera — not bad, not bad at all.

I’ve only ever heard one of them. How refreshing.

What’s missing from the typically adventurous agenda, however, is a visit to opera-deprived Orange County. The company has brought a production to Irvine in each of the last two years.

The season is launched with two performances (Jan. 29 and Feb. 4) of Astor Piazzolla’s “Maria de Buenos Aires,” a “tango operita” first given its West Coast premiere by LBO in 2004.

A rare double bill of Poulenc’s comedic “The Breasts of Tiresias” and Martinu’s jazz-inflected and dadaist “Tears of a Knife” will be staged in March.

Osvaldo Golijov’s acclaimed “Ainadamar,” an opera based on the life of Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca, is presented in May in what is billed as the West Coast’s first fully staged production of the 2005 edition.

British minimalist Michael Nyman’s “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat,” based on Oliver Sacks’ famous neurological study, winds up the season in June.

As in recent seasons, the company will present performances in a number of venues, some of them unusual, including the Warner Grand Theatre in San Pedro, a former movie palace, the Press-Telegram Building in Long Beach, and the EXPO Building in Long Beach, a former furniture store. Casting has yet to be announced, but I’m sure we can count on LBO’s regular and superb stable of singing-actors to be part of the fun.

In the news release announcing the season, Long Beach Opera also reported an unspecified increase in ticket sales last season, a 20 percent growth in its subscriber base, as well as an “unprecedented” number of sold-out performances — and that for a season of operas by Cherubini, Shostakovich, Glass and Lang.

Why the internet was invented

A  scene from “Lord of the Rings,” which some genius doctored for YouTube.

This is where the music came from.

You’re welcome.

Chicago Symphony program revealed

Riccardo Muti is my hero.

The program for Muti and the Chicago Symphony’s concert in Orange County on 17 February 2012 has finally been revealed in all its glory.

Muti and the gang will open with a performance of Arthur Honegger’s gritty tribute to trains, “Pacific 231.”

That is followed by a piece of genuine new music, “Alternative Energy” by Mason Bates, a Chicago Symphony commission.

After intermission, the musicians revive the Symphony by Cesar Franck. Incidentally, the Chicagoans made the best recording of the work, a veritable classic of the gramophone in my opinion, way back when.

In recent years, touring orchestras have been bringing almost stiflingly conservative programs to O.C. This one will be a breath of fresh air.

Single tickets go on sale Aug. 1, I believe. Sorry, I’m not 100 percent certain of the date.

UPDATE: Friend of Classical Life, conductor Chris Russell will be giving the pre-concert lecture for this concert.